Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
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