at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
