I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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