I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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