Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
