So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize