im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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