last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
