Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize