He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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