i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
