The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
