porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Less talking, more tequila
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
