in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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