if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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