Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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