just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
ugly people sure do ruin things
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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