Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
