UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Im part way to drunk.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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