actually, I'm a sock model
false alarm. still invincible.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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