I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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