My hand turned me down
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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