is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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