Pregnant stripper...not hot.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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