Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize