im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
