Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
