i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
