Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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