I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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