i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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