if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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