This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
