his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
