his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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