"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
one might say we're banned from that church
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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