I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
