are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
