im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
