i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
You can't special order awesome
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
She told me I should be a condom model.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
