sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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