your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
bring money and cleavage
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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