nut hugger
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
