Tell her she can't have a vagina
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize