I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Randomize
