dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
