i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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