awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Randomize