My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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