I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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