Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Ladies don't puke and tell
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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