Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
