So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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