marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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