nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
