is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
