if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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