Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize