Banned from zoo.
Again?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
