she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
