I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
